This is the best description of an electric guitar ever written.

"There is something raw, incredibly dumb and utterly irresistible about the electric guitar. You can wank an electric guitar. It's a cock. It's a gun. It's a cockgun. You can peel back its shiny metal foreskin and stab its screaming purple head directly into a crowd's brain and fuck it to death - blasting chunks of utterly satiated punterflesh in every direction with every nerve shredding ejaculation. You just can't do that with a synthesiser."

I fancy myself a bit of a writer, but I bow to the wordsmith who penned that hilarious, yet amazingly accurate portrayal of why electric guitar is the coolest instrument on Earth.

Here's the full article.