D.C. not as big a terror target as South Dakota

According the new grant budget put out by the Department of Homeland Security, Washington, D.C. is in the lowest 25% of "states" in a likely-to-be-attacked ranking that was the basis of how much security grant money each area receive this year. Who's at more risk of being attacked (and getting more money to prevent it), according to the DHS? Witness the insanity:

West Virginia $7.5 million homeland security grant (Okay, everyone knows I love W.V. best of all, but c'mon. The terrorists aren't coming for the strip mines, people.)

Idaho $6.7 million (The terrorists hate taters!)

Oregon $4.7 million (They will try to cripple our pot-growing abilities.)

Montana $4.5 million (We must kill all them cowboys, Abdul!)

Utah $4.5 million (Attack the holy-underwear wearing infidels!)

Rhode Island: $4.5 million (Do they even get "Providence" re-runs in Pakistan?)

Wyoming: $4.4 million (I guess Buffalo are a bigger symbol of America than the Washington Monument.)

South Dakota: $4.4 million (Okay, there aren't even a majority of U.S. Citizens that could pick out S.D. on a map, but Al Queda can? Riiiight.)

Puerto Rico: $4.3 million (Uh, is this a joke?)

D.C.: $4.3 million homeland security grant

Also on the list for increased funding: Kansas City, MO and St. Louis, MO; Louisville, KY; Omaha, NE (Yes, folks, Nebraska, #1 on Al Queda target lists worldwide, I'm sure); five cities in Jeb Bush's Florida (Actually, Orlando is one of them and I agree that Disney would be a legitimate target. But Ft. Lauderdale? Sorry Muslim extremists, not even close to 100 virgins at Spring Break.)

But that's not all! New York City is also on the not-likely-to-get-the-shit-bombed-out-of-it list.

NEW YORK CITY? D.C.? WTF?! These are the only two places in the nation THAT GOT ATTACKED!!!!!

What a colossal waste of taxpayers' money. Someone please wake me from this Orwellian nightmare.


Gardening Vigilantes!

These are our neighbors from down the street, Mr. & Mrs. S.
They are the traveling gardening vigilantes!

They cruise around in their SUV fixing up gardens that look shabby in our neighborhood.
I see Mrs. S often as she walks alot. She is always complimentary of our yard, which is sweet. She also always comments on our neighbor's yard as it's very overgrown. She mentioned to me one day that she was going to come by and fix up his yard. I thought, "no way." Today was the day I was proven wrong.

I was sitting feeding Sylvia and I heard a weed-whacker and thought, "how odd, my neighbor B. is never home at 2p what's going on?" Of course being the nosy mama that I am, Sylvia and I went to investigate and lo and behold, it was not B. but Mr. and Mrs. S!

She: sporting a fine looking, 1980's-era terrycloth headband, shorty shorts and a tank top, was hand-clipping the edges of B.'s grass near the stairs. I KID YOU NOT.

He: dressed in all white from head to toe (he must have recently attended P.Diddy's White Party in the Hamptons), in his fabu kneesocks, was weed-whacking at an amazing pace.

Please note: it was 90 degrees today and that's not counting the mega humidity!

Mr. and Mrs. S, you ROCK.